Barefoot and Lost Read online

  Barefoot and Lost

  By Brian Francis

  Barefoot and Lost

  Registered with the UK copyright Service

  UK©CS 335042

  Copyright © Brian Francis 2011

  The right of Brian Francis Cox, to be identified as the author of this work, writing under the name of Brian Francis, has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrievable system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recorded or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner.

  All characters in this book are fictitious, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  Preface

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty One

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Chapter Twenty Six

  Chapter Twenty Seven

  Acknowledgements

  A very special thank you goes to my wife, Adie, for her love and patience. Also to Avril Cannom and Shirley Law, my editing team for their much appreciated advice. And to my son, Stephen, for the design of the book cover.

  Finally I wish to thank my daughters, Michaela and Katrina for their encouragement.

  Thanks

  Brian Francis

  Preface

  Phillip Snell, a boy of ten years old in September 1944, witnesses the death of his mother by a doodle bug bomb. His grandmother takes charge and together they move from London to Hastings on the south coast of England.

  The absence of his Father, who has been away at war for the past three years, and an over protective female dominance make him an easy target for bullying. Phillip learns to physically stand up for himself , he finds good friends, notices girls, life is good, until the pressure of returning to work to support him is too much for his Gran and she too dies.

  His Grandmothers, employers make a desperate bid to foster him, but an over zealous welfare officer considers they are too old and unsuitable to foster, therefore Phillip is sent to a children’s home.

  In this home Phillip experiences sexual abuse; he blows the whistle via contacts outside of the home, a murder, an exposure of a paedophile ring leads to his attempted abduction, and police protection. A further attempt at fostering goes badly wrong and Phillip finds himself once again in a children’s home.

  Phillip becomes a victim of the British Government’s policy of forced emigration for orphaned children to the Colonies. On arrival in Western Australia he is the victim of brutality by members of a religious order. Phillip and a friend abscond and begin a journey that takes them half way across this vast continent. Almost dead from exposure he believes he has found someone to love him, not out of pity or duty but for being Phillip, but then maybe he is just a substitute for a lost son.

  Prologue

  ‘Shut the door Mum, I can see the light from the candle’ My Mum is calling as she runs up the path to the house. Gran struggles out of her bunk banging her head on the bottom of my bunk and curses

  ‘Forget your Gran said that’ she says as she goes to slide the door shut. I giggle; Gran is always swearing, mostly bloody or shit, but even though she has a strong East London accent her swear words always sound so polite.

  Mum left our Anderson shelter only a minute ago to collect the thermos of tea from the kitchen table; she had forgotten to bring it when we ran down here half an hour ago, just as the air raid siren started wailing. Gran told her not to go, but mum said ‘I’ll only be a minute.’ Gran is struggling with the door it has always been difficult to close.

  A blinding flash lights up the shelter, the air inside is being sucked out then, with the sound of an express train, the air is rushing back in. ‘Oh my Gawd’ Gran cries out as she stumbles and falls backwards onto the floor. The explosion is deafening, my head feels like it is being pulled off my shoulders. The whole shelter is shaking. The dust from the ceiling and the water from the floor have mixed making a fog of mud which fills the shelter, I can’t breathe, I dive under the blankets as some giant hand hammers against the partly closed door.

  The smell of fire and a smell I have never smelt before are filling my nose and throat making me cough. ‘Mummm, Graaaan’ but there is only silence, everything is dark. ‘MUM, GRAN; where are you, why won’t you answer me?’ Perhaps they can’t hear me because I‘m still under the blanket, Peeping out I shout again.

  ‘Mum where are you?’

  ‘Phillip, are you all right, where are you?’

  ‘Gran I’m in bed, where are you I can’t see you?’

  ‘You stay there like a good boy; Gran will be with you in a minute’

  As my eyes get used to the dark, and with the help of the light from a fire, which is now shining through a gap at the top of the door I can see water rushing down the steps and rapidly filling the shelter; Gran is lying on her back and struggling to get up. Climbing down to help her, I find myself standing in water over my knees. As I try to help her she gives an almighty heave but in the small space between the bunks she knocks me onto my back with a splash. Coughing and spluttering I swallow several mouthfuls as the water covers my face, unable to get my footing I can feel myself panicking, my wet woollen dressing gown has become so heavy it is dragging me under, I feel like I’m drowning. Gran is shouting Phillip, Phillip, and hits me in the ear as she franticly tries to grab me, I gasp from the blow and swallow more water, somehow our arms connect, and I catch hold and Gran hauls me to my feet.

  ‘Oh my Gawd Phillip are you okay?’ she says lifting me dripping wet, onto my bunk, before climbing up beside me. Her bones must have got younger, she has always said her bones were too old to climb up here ‘Quick help me get your wet dressing gown off and wrap this blanket around us; come on, cuddle up to your old Gran we must keep warm’

  ‘Gran what’s happened has a bomb hit us?’

  ‘I expect so, we’re lucky to be in the shelter’

  ‘Where’s mum, why is she not coming back?’

  ‘You know; she went to get the thermos of tea, but can’t get back in because the door is blocked by rubble, so she has probably gone to get some help. Shush; be quiet for a minute, I think I can hear someone out there’

  ‘Is it Mum?’

  ‘Oh Phillip I do hope so.’

  I can hear the bells of fire engines and the shouting of men. ‘Come on Philip let us sing so they will know we are here.’ At the top of her voice Gran starts to sing

  ‘Ten green bottles standing on the wall and if one green bottle should accidentally fall there will be; come on Phillip, help me sing.’

  ‘Nine green bottles standing on the wall-----’

  ‘There is someone here’ a man shouts as he starts to pull away the rubble. .

  ‘Hello; how many of you in here, are any of you hurt?’

  ‘Me and my grandson, no we’re okay, what about my daughter, she was in the house, have you found her, did she tell you we were here?’

>   ‘I don’t know Ma, let’s get you out first’ the little bit of light grows as he removes the rubble he shouts, ‘Here mate give us a hand to rip this door open’ there is a wrenching and a screeching sound, and the door comes away.

  Two firemen splash their way inside; one of them lifts me from the bunk the other helps Gran. ‘Here Luv hang onto me neck I’ll put you down when we get to dry land’

  ‘I’m already wet thank you I can manage’

  ‘That’s as may be Missus but no point in being soaked, be a good girl, and do as yer told, anyway yer don’t want to spoil me fun, do yer, I’m enjoying the cuddle.’

  ‘Get away with you, you cheeky bugger’ Gran says with a chuckle. The fireman carrying me is wearing a steel helmet he has a huge smile that beams through his dirty face. Stepping over the fence at the back of our garden he carries me through the garden of the house behind ours. Looking over his shoulder I can see Mr. Thomas’s and two others have disappeared, there is only a wall, and a bit of floor that looks like my bedroom left standing of our house. From the other houses, either side of the gap, I can see curtains blowing out of the windows. How silly, fancy leaving the windows open at night, we always close ours.

  265

  Chapter One

  ‘Phil, do you know what’s going to happen to you now there is no one to look after you?’ I look at Tess in disbelief, my stomach feel as though it has just hit the floor, what does she mean, surely I could stay living with June until my dad comes home?

  ‘Tess; that wasn’t very subtle, I’m sure no one at this stage has discussed with Phillip his future, certainly not so soon after his bereavement.’

  ‘Oh Phil I’m so sorry, I never thought.’

  ‘Sorry about what; Pop, what does Tess mean?’

  ‘It is not our place to talk about your future Phil, especially with you; it is something that must be left to the experts.’

  ‘What experts? Who are they? Why can’t I stay with June, that’s where I live it’s my home’

  ‘Phil, I’m sure the Milligan’s would love to have you live with them but I doubt if they will be allowed to. You will probably be fostered until a relative claims you, as a child and a victim of war; now your Gran has died, social services will make the decision where you live, Reg and June will have no say in the matter.’

  ‘Who will foster me, you foster Michael could you foster me as well?’

  ‘I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that, I am not an official foster parent, Michael is here with Tess and me, well, hopefully he will be when he comes out of hospital. He has stayed with us because Michael’s parents are very good friends and they trust us to look after him. He is here as a guest in our house because they wanted him to be away from the bombing in London. Phil even if we wanted to we couldn’t, Tess and me being Jewish would prevent us from fostering you, ours a different culture. Social services will want to place you in a Christian home, and added to that we are both definitely too old to be considered as foster parents’

  ‘My Gran was older than you and she looked after me’

  ‘Yes I know but she was a relative’

  ‘I don’t want to go to somebody I don’t know.’ I can feel the tears running down my face.

  ‘I’m going home; I don’t want to talk about this.’

  ‘Wait Phil, we will come with you, we must explain to the Milligan’s how this dreadful situation has arisen, we wouldn’t want them to think we have been insensitive.’

  ‘Ah Sam it is so good of you to bring Phillip home. Oh Phil, you have been crying, are you alright?’

  ‘I’m afraid June the tears are of our making.’ Pop goes on to explain how they have put their feet in it. After his explanation June looks at me then looks across at Mr. M, she takes hold of both my hands and puts her face close to mine.

  ‘Phil, Reg, and I have been trying to find the right time to tell you, I think now is that time.’

  ‘You’re going to tell me you don’t want me, aren’t you?’

  ‘I’m going to tell you nothing of the sort, I want you to listen to me, any questions you have, I want you to wait until I have finished. There is no easy way to say these things, so I’m going to be blunt, it will hurt, but the truth often does, so please help me Phil.’

  ‘Now your Mum and your Gran are both dead it would appear that you have only one living relative and that is your uncle Ron.’

  ‘My dad, as well, I have my dad he will be home soon?’

  ‘Phillip, please let me finish, your dad is probably dead--,

  ‘He can’t be he is fighting the Germans’

  ‘Phil please don’t make this difficult June is doing her best’

  ‘Thanks Sam; you see Phil, the ship your dad was on was sunk by the Japanese in 1941 four years ago, he didn’t drown and was rescued by another ship and taken to the British base at Singapore, but the Jap’s captured Singapore.

  There was terrible fighting but the Jap’s soon overrun the island, all the British sailors, soldiers, and airmen, were either killed or became prisoners of war. The Red Cross has records of every serviceman that is a prisoner and your dad is not on any of their lists, so he is listed as missing, presumed dead. That doesn’t mean he is dead but it‘s almost certain. Your uncle is with the Marines in Holland where, at the moment he is in hospital, severely wounded. He is not well, and can’t come home to look after you even if he could he is only twenty three and not married. To support you he would have to work and wouldn’t have time to look after you.

  We would like to foster you but the authorities probably will not allow us to because we are too old and, having no children of our own we have no experience of childcare. To be a foster parent you have to be a very special person. Tomorrow, some people from the social service are coming here to tell you where and who you are going to. We are going to suggest that you have a little holiday here with us until after the summer school holiday to give you a chance to become adjusted but don’t build your hopes on that as they may not agree.

  ‘When will I have to go, will I ever see you again?’

  ‘We don’t know hopefully we will have a better idea tomorrow.’

  Pop and Tess have not said a word. Tess is sitting with her hands in her lap looking at them as though she has never seen them before. Pop gets to his feet,

  ‘Tess I think we should go home and leave Phillip to have his supper; June, Reg I am unable to offer anything further, other than we will do all we can to help you keep Phil here with you, we can only pray there is a happy resolve to this situation.’

  ‘Good night Sam, good night Tess, thank you very much for your support.’ Pop ruffles my hair

  ‘Look after yourself Phil.’

  I may have to, there doesn’t seem to be anyone else.

  Chapter Two

  It is now seven o’clock I have hardly slept all night. Once again I was woken by the dream I keep having about the night when mum died; the wailing of the siren, the rushing of air and the noise of the express train. I woke myself shouting Mum. Gran is usually here to whisper, ‘It’s okay Phillip go back to sleep’ but tonight there was silence, no creaking of Gran’s bed as she turns to speak to me, there was only the sound of my heart beating as it competed with the tick of the alarm clock as it counted off the minutes since twenty past four. I have been laying here since then frightened to sleep in case the dream starts all over again.

  To stay awake I have been thinking of all the things that have happened to me in the ten months since that night in September 1944. In my mind I have put the bad things on the left and the good on the right. Moving with Gran, from London to Hastings was good, not at first, it was better once I met Michael, Pop and Tessa. Funny how I thought Michael was foreign because he had dark skin, then he told me he was a Jew. We had such good fun, he is the best friend I have ever had, just when we were enjoying ourselves he got polio and nearly died. I wonder when he will get out of hospital, and will he be a cripple like they say.

  If Gran and me h
adn’t come to live with Reg and June Milligan, Pop wouldn’t have taught me to swim, Mr. M wouldn’t have paid my subscription to the swimming club and if Michael didn’t have polio I wouldn’t have met Superintendent Langdon or Len Granger, then Len wouldn’t have been able to coach me and make me a record holder for the county. If I hadn’t gone to the White rock baths on my own I wouldn’t have seen the notice about the Police boys club, and if I hadn’t joined I would never have learnt to box and beat Keith Smith that bloody bully. Oh yes and I wouldn’t have met Jet, the best dog in the whole world, if I have to go away I think I will miss him most of all

  There seem to be more good than bad and out of the bad something good seems to happen, but I can’t see what good has come out of Mum and Gran dying. Why has God taken away everyone that I love? Who is God anyway? He’s supposed to be good but how can he be when he makes me feel so sad? Why do we have to have war? Why do the Germans and the Jap’s hate us? All these questions and I don’t have the answers. Instead of talking to Mum in my prayers like Tess suggested, I tried to pray like Gran showed me, I said the Lords prayer but I might have got it wrong. If I did, is that why God is not answering me. Pop said look after myself, how can I do that, I don’t know what to do. Should I go away on my own did he mean run away before these people come this morning, but where would I go? Everyone says that heaven is a nice place where Mum, Dad and Gran are; they are at peace and looking down on me. I want to be with them, I could look down on Michael. To go to heaven I must die, I could kill myself but I don’t know how to do it; Oh mum please help me!!